Hi! My name is Nikki. I am an ex-school teacher, a writer, a health and life coach, a daughter, an auntie, a friend, and a citizen of the United States and the world. My goal in life is to reach my full potential, to follow the path the feels right to me in life and to inspire others to do the same.
My “red pill story” began over thirty years ago, (even though I didn’t know it at the time). I hope it inspires you to go down the “rabbit holes” that feel right to you and to honor all the paths you have taken in your life that has gotten you to this point right here, right now.
The journey towards awakening may be scary sometimes, but it always leads to the Light of your own infinite potential as a human being and as a spirit/soul if you follow it with integrity and for an eye towards discovering Truth.
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#1 My “Roaring Twenties.” Awakening often begins with questions. If you do your own research both internally and externally and follow where those questions lead you, eventuallyyou may butt right up against one of the most perplexing juxtopositions: on the one hand, there is what representatives of “authority” in society say is true. On the other hand, there is what your “gut” says is true. Many young people especially experience this conflict at one point or another.
Many eventually ignore the nagging questions of their soul and simply go about their lives, getting a decent-paying job, going forward with their career, finding a partner, raising a family, and just being a decent human being in general.
There is nothing wrong with that path at all. I know many who have taken it and they live lives of quiet satisfaction for the most part. For some, however, the BIG questions about the world, about one’s place in it, about how we all got to be where we are right now, simply won’t go away no matter how much you try to hide them under the rug of your own mind and your busy life. This was the case for me. I have always questioned, I have always asked “why?” (it was my favorite word for years), I have always felt a compulsion to help others in both macro and micro ways, to be a part of “righting the wrongs” and empowering individuals and communities. I have always been fascinated about history and to really getting at the “truth of it.”
I definitely have had an “activist spirit” from day one and, to tell you the truth, some thirty years later I still do– although in a completely different way and with a completely different frame of reference than I did back then. In my 20’s, activism manifested itself in a variety of ways that were in alignment with what we would now call the “progressive left.” I was involved in anti-Gulf war protests at UCLA and homeless rights in LA where I was a pre-law English major. When I transfered to UCSD as an ethnic studies student at Thorgood Marshall college at UCSD, I as a board member of a cross-border organzing group and also participated in solidarity work around Native American rights and in support of the Zapatistas in Chiapas, Mexico.
Eventually, still on fire as an activist (although my body would have said something different), I went on to get a bilingual teaching credential. In 1998, I got my first little class of kindergarteners to teach, mold and inspire to be the best that they could be, despite all the obstacles that were ahead of them.
I thought at the time I had a pretty good handle as to what those obstacles were– racism, sexism, classism, ect. My worldview at the time, taught to me by professors that I admired, was one where I knew the system that we lived in was utterly flawed, racist to the core. It needed to be replaced by something new, something more egalitarian and fair for everyone. We all believed (hoped against hope?) that it would some day, although we werent that hopeful that it would.
Perhaps a little backstory is needed here for those who may be unfamilar with this line of thinking: When I was an undergrad at UCSD, the so-called hidden “truth” about American history was given to us in a certain way. Like most of my fellow students, I believed what I was told because I admired and looked up to the professors and writers who were telling it. This was, after all, the “people’s history,” a la Howard Zinn and others of the same ilk, that we were learning!
Indeed, we were exposed to about a lot of stuff that they had indeed left out of the high school textbooks and I believe these things did happen. Unfortunately, the authors of this “new hidden history” also inserted certain ways of thinking that were not meant to empower those young people, myself included, who were learning it. They also left a lot of information out of those texts. In fact, it was my believe that in the end the way they presented the material was meant to disempower, not empower. They said that we were the leaders of the future, that we would pave the way. But how could we? By the end of our studies, we as people of color and women were convinced that, in this country, we were inevitably, irrevocably screwed.
As a side bar to this side bar…did we ever really dive into what the Constitution of the United States really gaurantees in its essence? Nope not a lick. And what about the form of government that we are really supposed to be running, which is called a Constitutional Republic? Nope, didnt learn about that either. What they left out was the basics. What they left out was also simply a little room for folks to make up their own minds. As young adults learning to be the “leaders of the future,” we just traded in one line of propaganda for another, and they were happy to give it to us. There is a reason for that. File that in the back of your mind as you do your own research. You will discover on your own why that is. 😉
#2 1999. Philosphical questions become exstestantial crisis when they actually hit home in a personal way. My own journey towards trusting my own intuition and questioning all that I knew took a turn when I was 28 years old.
I was on the brink of collapse and suffering from complete adrenal burnout. chronic stress and an almost non-functioning immune system. In addition, I had just been diagnosed with the autoimmune condition scleroderma. I sat in my car reading the little pamphlet that the HMO rheumatologist had given me. For about ten minutes, I seriously considered filling the prescription for low-dose chemotherapy that would shut down certain parts of my immune system. Then a feeling crept over me. Something about the doctor’s explanation didn’t feel right. Sitting in that car that afternoon, something inside me knew that there had to be a better way. I put the prescription in the glove box and drove back to school. I was on a lunchbreak from teaching and it was almost time for the math lesson.
Over the course of the next few weeks, I ruminated on my situation and weight my options. All of this “thinking about it” at the time just made me more depressed. You see, I knew that the doctor that had just told me I was doomed to wither away and eventually succumb to this thing represented “the system.” And I had learned from all those well-intentioned profs at UCSD exactly how that system was rigged against me. What those profs forgot to inform me about was all of the reserves of amazing strength, insight, intuition and innate healing I have inside of me, indeed that we all have inside of us as a matter of fact. This was the imput, the resolve, the knowing and the strength that I needed right then and there if I was going to “beat” scleroderma and show those docs how wrong they were!
#2 Fast-forward to roughly a decade later. Needless to say, I never took the meds the rheumatologist gave me. Instead, something else kicked in; it was a trust in my own self and my own body’s ability to heal that came from deep within, or maybe from the Divine, my higher self or God. Maybe it was strength of will, or maybe angels and guides were helping me with little nudges here and there. Either way, I slowly started to learn about natural medicine, about the body’s innate ability (and dare I say, desire!) to heal itself, and how I could help it to do just that by living my life in a certain way. For the next decade, I still worked as a teacher, still kept insane hours, still did all my side activity projects, was still “burning the canlle at both ends.” LIttle by little, however, I was aware of how unhappy I was in the midst of all my busy-ness.
I wasn’t as bad off as a lot of other folks who had scleroderma, but I wasn’t completely living life to the fullest either. During those years, I “dabbled” in mind-body medicine and sometimes went out on a limb into the realms of the “woo woo,” at the same time wondering what all my brainy academic friends would think of me if they knew that I was talking to channelers, getting astrology reading and studying energy medicine! Eventually, I even tried a stint as an editor for a health magazine to get away from the school system for a while. But I still had severe ups and downs with my energy as well as weight gain, digestive upset, fibromyalgia-like aches and pains, brain fog most of the time and bouts of the flu that came on every Christmas vacation like clockwork and seemed to last forever.
Even when I was physically okay, throughout my thirties I still felt like I was just treading water. I felt as if there was something out there I was supposed to do, yet this “something” bobbed just out of reach like a buoy in the stormy sea. I was so tired and anxious all the time, I could never reach it.
Eventually, the inevitable hit me, as it will hit anyone who runs on the hormones of stress for too long. The “crash” came in 2014 when I developed major periodontal and systemic infections that caused most of my teeth to fall out. A little while later, I was dealt a secondary autoimmune diagnosis of Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis (with a TSH of 35).
It was at that point, at the ripe old age of 43, that I knew I had to make some major changes in my life. I decided that I needed to put my own self-care and my connection with life first!
#3 The next six months were spent at my family home in Oceanside, California. I was recovering from all the dental surgery as well as rounds of intravenous ozone therapy to help clean up the infection from my body. I tried a lot of other things on my own as well during that time: chiropractic, acupuncture, reiki, a lot of supplements, tons of sleep, a severe dietary change, tai chi, yoga and meditation. I dove in to the science of healing, the chaotic muddy mess of my own mind, the forward-thinking writings of everyone from Rudolf Steiner, Viktor Schauberger and Krishna Murti to more “new age” thinkers like Dr. Wayne Dyer and what some would call “way out” consciousness thinkers like Michael Tellinger and David Wilcock. This time of discovery and self-discovery culminated in a deep dive into our cosmic history– and quite a few hours binge watching a show called Cosmic Disclosure. (Note: while I highly recommend this series, you can watch the culminating movie series that was inspired in part by this series called Above Magestic and its companion The Cosmic Secret if you want to save yourself lots of hours staring at the tube!).
What was I looking for exactly? I wanted to find the truth about health and healing of course, to help my own body heal. As it turned out, in the process I wound up also exploring what was really true about what we collectively call “reality,” including our collective, hidden history.
During this time, I opened up the pandora’s box again, and explored that same old question that had kept me up at night as a teenager and a twenty-something: What is really true about my life and the world in general?
Throughout my life, I have also loved to travel. This time, I was traveling too. It was not to a new place on planet earth, per se. It was a journey of the mind and spirit. I did not go to distant lands or even out of my parents’ backyard during that time. What I did was venture into the deep, dark alleyways of my own belief systems and, subsequently, into the sometimes scary, darkened pathways of our collective history.
This was the history that was not taught in high school. Nor is it taught to undergrads in “progressive” ethnic studies classes either. Turns out there is an “untold untold” story of how we got to the point we are at right now. This version nobody who has any vested interest in the status quo wants you to know about. But this was exactly the history I wanted to learn, because (as uncomfortable as it was to hear) it resonated as most true to me on a deep, unexplainable level.
Looking back, I can see how that time “unplugged” from everything was a true blessing. Even though I was in physical pain, the time allowed me to develop the basis for a new and ever-expanding worldview that continues to grow with each year. You could say I “red pilled” myself, and I continue to do so!
While my investigations began with personal healing and the current medical model, I eventually wound up calling into question the entirety of what we call “consensus reality.” At times, what I discovered about how the mechanisms and institutions that are in place in our world “works” was so disturbing that I simply want to stop the whole investigation entirely and go back to being an overworked, stressed out, sickly school teacher.
Many times, I have wanted to close the book, turn off the video and just go back to being “normal.” You know, eating junk food and planning for the life that everyone dreams of having: the husband, the 2.5 kids, the white picket fence, the fat savings account… That is what it is all about, isn’t it?
Along the way, the more I learned about the darkness, the more I realized, awe-struck, how powerful and all-pervasive is the Light. My shift in consciousness was and is subtle on the outside; most people around me don’t notice a thing. Yet it was significant for me since it provided me with a unique frame of reference for observing my own life and the world around me. As things continue to transform in the world like never before, I am even more grateful for the consciousness I now have that has enabled me to navigate it all from a more grounded yet slightly more enlightened perspective. I am especially grateful that now I can offer my insight to those who resonate with it in order to help others along the path. That is the greatest gift of all!
#4 Eventually, in spring of 2015, I decided that I had to get out of the public educational system altogether. On a physical level, I knew that my body was still fragile and that my immune system could crash again if it was exposed to too many pathogens. Philosophically, the whole concept of what and how our current educational system came to be and what this institution really stands for did not resonate with me anymore. I didn’t believe in it and knew I could no longer be a part of it in the way I had before.
Even though it was heartbreaking, I made the tough decision to leave public school teaching. I decided to try my hand as a freelance writer. What happened next completed solidified my belief in a Universe that works with you when you decide to follow your heart and your Intuition!
The first writing gig I applied for was with an amazing naturapath turned natural breast cancer coach and since then I have gathered an amazing group of natural health writing clients that have helped me keep up with all the latest research on this topic, and have also helped me buy groceries and pay my bills!
Beginning in 2016, I also dove whole-heartedly into the world of quantum physics, energy medicine and human potential, fueled by the lucky fact that I was now being paid to write about these subjects. Along the way, I have also had very direct experiences through meditation, visualizaiton and time in nature that has solidified that which I have been studying for years.
I now know on a deep and undeniable level that everything really is energy and I sense my experience on the earth on a whole new level. One of the most significant things that has changed in my life personally is that I am now more connected to my intuitive guidance that ever before. This comes in the form of intuitive nudges, hints, numerical sequences, syncronicities and sometimes direct communications from what I perceive as guides, helpers. the Divine, God, angels, benevolent extra terrestrials or simply a Higher Source within me. When I get these “intuitive nudges” these days, I tend to really listen to them and follow through. When I do, I am always delightfully surprised at the results.
Again, the more I research, learn and expand my definitions of our own potentials as spiritual/energetic beings,, the more I am in awe of where we will go and what we will do when we reach our full potential.
#6 Enter my introduction to the work of Q and the Q movements in early 2018. Right around the same time that I was processing all that was happening to me internally, including some serious and on-going energetic “upgrades” that were happening to me during meditation, I also met one of those rare friends with whom I was able to share my interest in ufology and exo-politics. She had also watched all 400 plus episodes of Cosmic Disclosure with David Wilcock and Corey Goode. Low and behold, she didn’t think I was nuts when I started talking about benevolent beings from other worlds and the strange dreams I had as a kid.
I still remember what she asked me as she leaned over her salad at the crowded patio restaurant where we were having lunch.
“So, do you know about Q?” she said in a voice just barely audible above the din of clanking silverware.
My mind drew a blank. You mean the letter Q? Q as in question? Q as in the highest clearance the military has for non-military personnel? (I knew that from all those Cosmic Disclosure episodes about the Secret Space Program).
“Yes,” she said, confirming all three. Thus began, right there and then, yet another adventure that still continues as I write this today. Q’s information continues to reveal in multidimensional ways– about the institutions that used to run our world, about the agendas behind it, about the secret battle to turn everything around that could be at its climax point right now and even more. My sense is that there is information that may also help us on our spiritual journey buried within the Q Posts that we havent even discovered yet.
Thus the research continues! I can honestly say that what I continue to learn as a “truther” and avid Q post dissector has been equally as life-changing as anything I have experienced or line of research I have dove into thus far. I still have that “activist spirit” but I now know what that means on both a personal and cosmic level to be of service with my full authentic, sovereign self.
The massive transformations that are going on right now as we transition from the “Old Guard” to a new form of economics, government and more, I believe, are all part of an overall rapid evolution that the whole planet is going through right now. It is happening to everyone. Some may resist it, but no one ultimately is immune to it.
Learning about the crumbling presence of the cabalist elite, who they worked for and why, how they have manipulated energy and our thinking…and how it is all changing RIGHT NOW, has changed my perception of how I see the world as well as my role in it completely. It has changed how I pray, how I meditate, how I help people to heal and be inspired, how I write, how I think and how I interact with others.
Suffice it to say that I believe, when it is all said and done, the world and its inhabitants will never be the same.
And then what?
Ah, that is the big question isn’t it? Some say ascension. Some say the rapture. Some say “nothing at all” and scoff at theories which allude that something BIG and utterly woo woo may may actually happen in our lifetimes.
For me, I just know that I signed up for this gig here on planet earth this time around to be a part of something incredible. I am here on the planet right now for a reason. And so are you!
I look forward to exploring all the possibilities together!
In Love and Light,
Nikki / Q101